Drone Wars: The Adventures of Rand Skywalker

rand paulSitting at my command console yesterday, (actually, my office desk) I felt a disturbance in the force, as if thousands of Paulians screamed in unison for just one brief moment, and then, there was silence…stunned silence.

Young Skywalker (Senator Rand Paul) stated that these were the Drones he had been looking for:

I’ve never argued against any technology being used when you have an imminent threat, an active crime going on. If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and fifty dollars in cash. I don’t care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (actually it was right here in America, but I’ve always wanted to write that)…

Young Skywalker stood on the Senate Floor and said,

I will speak as long as it takes, until the alarm is sounded from coast to coast that our Constitution is important, that your rights to trial by jury are precious, that no American should be killed by a drone on American soil without first being charged with a crime, without first being found to be guilty by a court.

His fellow citizens of the Republic (including me) cheered his courage in taking such a heroic stand.

But, now…The Empire (of Paulians) Strikes Back!

I am stunned by Rand’s statement,” reads a blog post on the Daily Paul, one of the largest Ron Paul fan sites. “Unmanned killers in our skys O.K.??? Really? Get away from the Neocons and war mongers Rand, their arrogant and self-righteous air is rotting your brain.”

“How cute. The Politician emerges,” wrote Paladin69, a user on RonPaulForums.com.

“I disagree with shooting first and asking questions later,” added forum administrator Josh Lowry.

“The hell with arresting him I guess,” wrote user The Gold Standard sarcastically. “Just fire a missile at him and move on to the next mundane.”

Reddit’s brand of libertarian politics also repelled Paul’s hypothetical. “A missile into the storefront seems like dramatically excessive force,” wrote Reddit user Ohyeahthatsright. “Rand then seems to be supporting the militarization of police in their use of ‘tools’. I thought he was against the ‘police state.'”

Other libertarian-leaning commentators, such as the American Conservative’s Jordan Bloom, gave Paul more credit. “Paul wasn’t as clear as he should have been,” he writes. “It seems like he’s trying to describe a firefight-type situation in which the cops are forced to neutralize a thief robbing a liquor store, but the way he actually describes it sounds far more innocuous.”

Today’s flap is not the first he’s had with his father’s powerful online fan base, and it surely won’t be the last. But by all accounts, his principled filibuster greatly rejuvenated his credibility with libertarians following his heretical endorsement of Mitt Romney during the presidential election. With today’s remarks, he appears to have chipped away at that newly gained goodwill.

This is not the first time Young Skywalker has irritated the Paulians, who so faithfully followed his father, Paulian Skywalker, even after he morphed into Darth Paulnut, after serving several terms in that wretched hive of villainy  known as Washington, DC.

On the historic stardate of 6/7/2012, young Rand Skywalker threw his support behind Obi Wan MittRomney, in his quest to be the leader of the Republic, becoming a traitor in the eyes of Darth Paulnut’s loyal phalanx of followers. They spoke out in protest to the leader of the Paulian Empire:

“Rand is dead to me,” wrote, Ruffusthedog at the Daily Paul, a heavily-visited pro-Paul website. “He should have never done this.” “Rand Paul is a sell out,” user Alxnz exclaimed. “He just lost my vote in 2016.” “All he had to do was not open his mouth,” wrote user Conalmc. Others even took their anger out on Ron Paul himself. “What will it be Old Man Ron? Will you be forever remembered as the leader in the greatest liberty movement since 1776, or will you go down as Benedict Arnold incarnate,” threatened lionsuar7788. “We will never vote for Romney or your flimsy son.

“”What the heck! If Ron Paul supports/endorses Romney next I will forever lose faith in change and the belief that there are still individuals out there that think for themselves and want to strive for true Liberty,” wrote Ran at RonPaul.com.

It is widely acknowledged that young Skywalker is souping up his Millenium Falcon, in preparation for a lengthy trip to the outer most reaches of the American Galaxy, in an epic quest to become the leader of the Republic.

Perhaps the young Jedi believes that by showing the conviction to stand up to evil, in both that most wretched hive of villainy, Washington, DC, and throughout the American Galaxy, as well, then the good citizens of the Republic, will view him as a promising leader.

However, if the young Jedi wishes to be the leader of Republic, he must, at all times, remember the element that powers the Force of the Republic: Freedom.

For, without Freedom, our Republic would be just another Evil Empire.

And, as Benjamin Franklin wrote,

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

May The Force, that is the love and protection of Jesus Christ, be with you.

Until He Comes,


5 thoughts on “Drone Wars: The Adventures of Rand Skywalker

  1. darwin

    Police have “rules of engagement” that dictate when they can shoot at someone. Basically, the person must be shooting at or at least pointing a gun at someone.

    I once did a training thing the police allowed the public to participate in. Participants had a Glock fitted with a laser. You watched a large video screen with different scenarios presented and you pretended to be a cop.

    I failed one of them because I shot a guy running away from the scene of a crime while carrying a gun. I shouldn’t have shot him because he didn’t pose an imminent threat.

    In the case of the liquor store robber running out of the store, where is the imminent threat to a person? A drone is just going to take him out? Seriously?

    Stick a fork on Rand. He’s done.


  2. Gohawgs

    There are a lot of stupid things coming out of “Republican” mouths, these days. And, none of the comments are consistent with what they say they believe in…


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