Hello…this is KJ.  Who’s this?  Well, Howdy, Mr. President.   How are ya?

Yeah.  I heard you were out on the stump for the Democrat Candidates, trying to minimize the damage before the November 2nd Massacre…Lotsa Luck…Heh. 

The other day, you were in Espanola, New Mexico, speaking to a crowd of 4,000.  You’ll go anywhere, won’t you?  But, I’ve got to ask you.  Just who were you campaigning for?

I planned to do about one stop for everybody that helped Hillary run for president because she’s one of only two members of the president’s cabinet who cannot participate in politics .

Y’know, as Secretary of State, Hil is not permitted to campaign. Then I got out here and started stirring around and realised that a lot of people were mad and even more confused and I didn’t want it on my conscience so I just loaded up and started strolling around.

Criminently.  The schedule you guys keep means you two see each other about as often as Lindsey Lohan sees sobriety.  Do I hear a smile in your voice, Bubba?

Well, I can understand your reluctance to campaign on behalf of Hil’s boss.  You two haven’t exactly been the best of friends since the knockdown-dragout fight y’all had in 2008.   Hey, was Gov. Bill “Judas” Richardson out there with you?  

Why, Mr. President.  I didn’t know that you knew such words! 

Did you hear about Scooter campaigning for Dinghy Harry out in Las Vegas last night?  Yeah.  It was supposed to be a rally for Harry Reid but the crowd kept chanting Obama’s name.  Pretty funny.  Scooter said to the crowd, who busted a gut, laughing:

Harry is not the flashiest guy, let’s face it.  Harry kind of speaks in a very soft voice. He doesn’t move very quickly. He doesn’t give stem-winding speeches. But Harry does the right thing.

Thant was a backhanded compliment if I’ve ever heard one.

At one point, Scooter had to stop his sycophants from chanting:

I appreciate everyone saying ‘Obama,’ but I want everyone to say ‘Harry, Harry, Harry. 

He then had to lead the crowd in the cheer and, after they finally joined in, he said:

That’s right.

Yep.  Harry and Angle are locked in a dead heat.  And that’s not the worst of Harry’s problems.  Nevada’s unemployment rate is sitting at 14.4 %!

And his penthouse at the Washington Ritz-Carlton has not gone over well with the Nevadan taxpayers, either.

Scooter’s speaking in Minnesota tonight, after being in Portland and Seattle this week.  The personal charisma of you and Scooter are all that’s keeping hope alive for your political party with 9 days to go before the Midterm Election.  Lord knows these Congresscritters can’t run on their record.

Y’know, there have been a lot of rumors about Hil.  No, not those kind of rumors.  Political rumors, like her replacing Crazy Uncle Joe as VP.  She wouldn’t do that, of course.  She’s been  loyal to Obama – it would have been politically foolish to appear otherwise – but her under-the-radar job means she can remain distant from most of what he does.  She’s not interested in the VP slot in 2012, is she, Bubba?

She’s already answered that.  I’ll tell you what, she likes being Secretary of State and she’s doing a great job.

By the way, where’s Hil going to be on the night of the elections?  Oh.  She’ll be out of town on November 2nd.  She’ll be on the other side of the globe, on a tour including stops in Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea. How convenient.  Y’know, Scooter’s leaving town right after her, going on a 12-day trip Asian trip.  I guess they’re both gettin’ the heck out of Dodge.

I realize that challenging Scooter for the nomination in 2012 might be a no-win situation. To seek to get rid of  the first black president would split your party in two and almost guarantee a Republican victory, even if Hillary won the nomination.  Heeeey…on  second thought…you guys need to go for it!

However, 2016 would be a completely different situation.  You guys aren’t fooling anybody.  Everyone knows that she still has her eyes on the White House.  I heard that her former chief strategist Mark Penn recently polled her popularity compared to Obama’s.

So, is Hill going to run for president in 2016?

She speaks for herself on these things.

Ummm.  Okay.   Hey, before you go, one more thing.  There is a new story out now that you lost the card the president is meant to keep close at hand, bearing the codes that he has to have in order to launch a nuclear attack.  

Gen. Hugh Shelton, who served under you as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says that you lost “the biscuit” in 2000.  In a previously released book, Ret. Air Force Lt. Col Robert Patterson, said that you lost it in 1998.  Patterson was one of the men who carried “the football”, the nuclear briefcase. 

No one seems to have all the facts, but that’s not unusual when national security matters are involved.   In fact, there’s an old story that Jimmy Carter left his biscuit in a suit that got sent to the dry cleaners. Even to this day, no one will confirm the story, but no one will deny it either.

Never mind, Bubba.  It’s been quite while a while now.  I’m sure you don’t remember where you left it.  By the way, while Hil is out of town on November 2nd, what are going to be up to?  Oh……never mind.

Bye, Bubba.

Yesterday, in the United States House of Representatives, the number of jokers usually there  increased by one.

Appearing in his role as a Comedy Central news commentator, Stephen Colbert was invited to the House hearing to share his “vast” knowledge, drawn from spending a single day on a New York farm as a guest of the United Farm Workers.

The union launched its “Take Our Jobs” campaign to back up its claim that few Americans would do the work of farm laborers, the vast majority of whom are in the U.S. illegally. Only seven people accepted the jobs, the union claims. 

Who did they ask?

Colbert actually was there at the invitation of subcommittee Chairwoman Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif.  And, after asking him to leave initially, Rep. John Conyers later gave him the go-ahead, apparently hoping that the so-called comedian’s performance would counter the testimony of a political science professor who said illegal immigrants were competing with black and Hispanic citizens for jobs.

Colbert performed his pretentious routine, demanding that lawmakers do something about the agriculture industry’s dependence on immigrant labor.

Lord, how I miss Red Skelton and Flip Wilson.

Colbert opined:

I’m not a fan of the government doing anything.  But I’ve got to ask, Why isn’t the government doing anything?

Colbert’s humor drew laughter from the audience and several Democrats on the subcommittee. But most of the Republicans were not entertained.

Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa said:

Maybe we should be spending less time watching Comedy Central and more time considering all the real jobs that are out there.

 At the close of the hearing, Colbert dropped his TV persona and turned serious, claiming that he was using his celebrity to bring attention to farm labor because “these seem to be the least of my brothers.”

Colbert said:

Right now migrant workers suffer and have no rights.

It might be because they are in our country illegally, Colbert.

By the way, this lame comedy routine cost us American Taxpayers $125,000, due to the cost of holding a committee hearing.

While we’re on the subject of Liberals, television, and the American people, let’s talk about cable news.

Everyone knows who the leader in cable news is, it’s Fox.  Their overwhelming dominance of the industry can be contributed to the leadership of Roger Ailes.

Just as Ailes has succeeded, others have failed.  Yesterday, it was announced that the heads of CNN and MSNBC have been shown the door.

Jonathan Klein, the president of the rapidly tanking CNN/U.S. cable channel, is being replaced by Ken Jautz, the head of the tabloid-oriented sister channel HLN, the company said Friday.

The change is effective immediately.  Klein was fired earlier this week by his boss, Jim Walton, the president of CNN Worldwide. According to Klein,  Walton “told me they wanted to restructure things this way, and thank you very much, and good luck.”

Klein was in charge of CNN for nearly six years.  During that time, he tried to convince the public that the Liberal-viewpoint that they were hearing from his news channel was actually a “Moderate” viewpoint and that CNN was actually the news channel that was “fair and balanced”. 

The American public did not believe it.

The timing of Klein’s firing shocked CNN employees because the channel, currently ranked third in the prime time ratings behind Fox News and MSNBC,  is about to undergo a reinvention that he organized. The commentators Eliot Spitzer  (Client 9) and Kathleen Parker (noted Faux Conservative pundit) are scheduled to replace a news program at 8 p.m. next month, and the talent show judge and journalist Piers Morgan will replace Larry King three months after that.

It’s brilliant programming decisions like those that caused Klein to be “future endeavored”.

Jeff Zucker, the chief executive of NBC Universal, e-mailed the company’s employees on Friday morning that he would step down from his position upon the completion of the takeover of NBC by Comcast.

The fate of  Zucker, the longest-serving senior manager at NBC, had been the subject of a lot of rumors since Comcast agreed in December to purchase 51 percent of NBCU from its long-time corporate owner, General Electric. The deal is expected to close at the end of the year, following regulatory approval.

Zucker’s, who is 45, fate was sealed after a meeting two weeks ago with Steve Burke, Comcast’s chief operating officer.

According to Zucker:

We had both gotten to the same place.  He made it clear that they wanted to move on at the close of the deal and I was completely comfortable with that.

Uh Huh.

In his e-mail to the staff he spoke about the “ups and downs” the company had experienced. Zucker said he did not detect “any particular reason” beyond the broad desire for new leadership for Comcast’s inclination to make a change.

I dunno, Jeff.  How about the whole Leno/Conan fiasco? Or the unwatchable news channel known as MSNBC? Or (shudder) the Rosie O’Donnell Variety show?

In their zeal to demonstrate their intellectual superiority and indoctrinate the American people with their enlightened ideology, Liberal politicians and the sycophants in the Main Stream Media have grossly underestimated the discernment, patriotism, and moral fiber of the public.  As we head into the Midterm Elections, they are all beginning to reap what they sowed.

Klein and Zucker should go to California and become farm laborers.  They might actually be good at that.