You’re President Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm). You wake up yesterday morning, with a ringing in your ears from a world-class chewing out from your wife, near hysterical over the possibility that  her free lavish vay-cays are about to go bye-bye.

And, on top of that, your posterior is sore from the butt-kicking that Mitt Romney gave you last night.

So, what do you do? You have personal appearances today. Do you go out all humble and apologetic, promising to do better in the next debate?

Oh, heck no. You erroneously claim that the guy who beat your butt at the first debate last night, was not Mitt Romney, but his doppelganger.

I think Barry’s been hanging out with the Choom Gang, again.

The New York Times reports that

President Obama and his team woke up here [Denver] on Thursday morning confronted by the realization that he lost his first debate by passively letting Mitt Romney control the conversation. Then the president and his advisers resolved to do what he himself did not the night before.

Under fire from fellow Democrats, Mr. Obama came out swinging, accusing Mr. Romney of lying to the American people about his plans for the nation. “I met this very spirited fellow who claimed to be Mitt Romney,” Mr. Obama told 12,000 supporters during a lakeside rally. “But it couldn’t be Mitt Romney, because the real Mitt Romney has been running around the country for the last year promising $5 trillion in tax cuts that favor the wealthy. The fellow onstage last night said he didn’t know anything about that.”

He said the Mr. Romney of the debate wanted to put more teachers in classrooms and claimed not to know companies get tax breaks for outsourcing jobs. “The man onstage last night, he does not want to be held accountable for the real Mitt Romney’s decisions and what he’s been saying for the last year,” the president said. “And that’s because he knows full well that we don’t want what he’s been selling for the last year.”

The vigorous assault on Mr. Romney suggested just how worried Mr. Obama’s campaign has become. The president’s advisers concluded that he had lost his first debate by not pressing Mr. Romney enough. After a series of late-night and early-morning consultations, the Obama team decided to try to correct that Thursday with a more aggressive stance, including the rally rhetoric, a new television ad and a conference call questioning Mr. Romney’s truthfulness.

David Axelrod, the president’s strategist, called Mr. Romney an “artful dodger” whose debate comments were “devoid of honesty,” “rooted in deception,” “untethered to the truth” and “well delivered but fraudulent.

“Not surprisingly, what we learned is he’ll say anything,” Mr. Axelrod said. “That makes him effective in the short term but vulnerable in the long term.” He added, “He may win the Oscar for his performance last night but he’s not going to win the presidency.”

The Romney team, feeling rejuvenated, fired back. “In full damage-control mode, President Obama today offered no defense of his record and no vision for the future,” said Ryan Williams, a Romney spokesman. “Rather than a plan to fix our economy, President Obama simply offered more false attacks and renewed his call for job-killing tax hikes.”

In trying to turn the tables on Mr. Romney, the president’s team was hoping to salvage a debate performance widely criticized by Democrats and Republicans alike. Aides described Mr. Obama as out of practice at debating and said he made a conscious decision not to bring up some of the campaign’s favorite attack lines of recent months, a decision they left little doubt disappointed them.

Well, boys and girls, ol’ Uncle KJ believes that there is a different reason:

The Emperor has no clothes!

That is to say, Obama has never been tested like this before.  Sans teleprompter, he was out there naked, as it were, armed only with his wits, and grasp of the duties of his job.

In other words, it was a dog’s world last night, and Scooter was wearing Milkbone underwear.

Now, sit back, and ol’ Uncle KJ will tell you a Bedtime Story:

In 2004, Illinois State Senator Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm) decided to run for The United States Senate.

Obama had to run against Blair Hull in the primary and then Jack Ryan in the general (both multi-millionaires).

Besides Obama being able to garner unlimited campaign funds from his Uncle George Soros, as the campaigns entered their closing rounds, the news broke (was leaked) to media outlets that both Hull and Ryan had “personal scandals” in their past. The timely release of this news wiped out both of their campaigns, leading to an easy victory for Obama in the primary and then in the general election.

The New York Times Magazine revealed that David Axelrod, Obama’s chief political and media adviser, may well have been behind the leak of the story that doomed the Hull candidacy as the primary reached its home stretch.  

As he has shown over the years, Axelrod was right at home operating in this gray area, part idealist, part hired muscle. One can not bring up Axelrod’s name  in certain circles in Chicago without the matter of the Blair Hull divorce papers coming up. Approaching the 2004 Senate primary, it was clear that it was a two-man race: the millionaire liberal, Hull, leading in the polls, and Obama, who was the figurehead of an impressive grass-roots campaign. One month before the vote, The Chicago Tribune “just happened” to reveal, at the end of a long profile of Hull, that during a divorce proceeding, Hull’s second wife filed for an order of protection. This revelation proceeded to erupt into a full-fledged scandal.  This scandal destroyed Hull’s campaign and handed Obama an easy primary victory.

The Tribune reporter who wrote the story later admitted in print that the Obama camp had “worked aggressively behind the scenes” to push the story. However, a lot of folks in Chicago believe that Axelrod leaked the initial story. They will tell you that before signing on with Obama, Axelrod interviewed with Hull. They also point out that Obama’s TV ad campaign just happened to start at almost the same time. Axelrod swears up and down that “we had nothing to do with it” and that the campaign’s television ad schedule was in the works for a long time.

Axlerod’s explanation?

An aura grows up around you, and people assume everything emanates from you.

What happened to Obama last night?

He wasn’t able to eliminate Romney through the dirty tricks which he and Axlerod used back in Chicago, forcing him to face Mitt man-to-man in an honest and fair debate.

Hence, the smirking look on his pompous puss, which showed the world that Obama would rather have been anywhere else than at that debate last night.

The Emperor had no clothes…and no clue.