President Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm), 3 years into his reign…err…presidency, released a PDF of a long-form Certificate of Live Birth yesterday.

Whoop-te-do.

In finally releasing a PDF of the document, Obama was desperately trying to derail speculation by average Americans on his undocumented past, recently fueled by Entrepreneur and professional spotlight-hogger Donald Trump. While making his grand announcement about doing something he should have done before he took office, the snobbish son of a Kenyan, whom I affectionately call Scooter, proclaimed that questions about the authenticity of the document were a distraction from bigger issues by “sideshows and carnival barkers.”

Sideshow? That’s appropriate, coming from a guy whose presidency has resembled a House of Horrors.

The Leader of the Regime then proclaimed:

We do not have time for this kind of silliness.

We’ve got better stuff to do. I’ve got better stuff to do. We’ve got big problems to solve, and I’m confident we can solve them, but we’re going to have to focus on them, not on this.

Then, he hopped aboard Air Force One, with us paying for the ride, and headed out to appear with his homegirl, Oprah, so that she and her studio audience could worship and adore him. Then last night, he spoke at a Democratic Fundraiser in New York City, to an adoring crowd.

He joked about the birth certificate controversy at both appearances.

I’m sooo glad that the “silly stuff” is over with. Aren’t you?

Meanwhile, Scooter has the following serious stuff to worry about:

• Gasoline prices that are over $4 a gallon in some parts of the United States
• Sell his plan to cut tax breaks for oil and gas companies
• Convince Congress to raise the debt ceiling before the U.S. hits its limit, likely in mid-May
• Shake-up his national security advisers
• Juggle wars and ongoing protests in the Middle East
• Negotiate a 2012 budget that both creates jobs and cuts spending
• 1/6th of America being on Food Stamps
• Continuing massive unemployment
• Run for re-election

The culturally elite Progressives, and squishy Moderates on both sides of the aisle, remain flabbergasted at how the Birth Certificate Controversy could have gotten this far.

It’s very simple, Poindexters.  Obama does not act like any natural-born American that the majority of Americans have ever been around.

Lets look at some things about Obama that have freaked Americans out about him:

• His parents were radicals.  His grandparents were communists.
• As a kid in Hawaii, he lived next door and was “buds” with the Chicago Communist Pedophile, Frank Marshall Davis.
• He attended Occidental College in Los Angeles for two years before transferring to Columbia in 1981.  No one remembers him.
• He was appointed Editor of the Harvard Law Review.  Nobody knows how he afforded Harvard.  The name Khalid al-Monsour is mentioned in the mystery.
• Barack Hussein Obama graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard Law School.  We don’t know anything about his actual courses or grades.   The records have been sealed at all three universities.
• The Los Angeles Times has reported that Obama studied, while at Columbia, under the late Edward Said, an Arafat devotee.  A photo that made the Internet rounds before the election shows Obama talking to the professor at a 1998 Arab American community dinner in Chicago, where the Obamas and Saids were seated together.
•  Bomber Bill Ayers was the head of the Chicago group that, with$49.2 million in hand,   formed the Chicago Annenberg Challenge.  The launch party in 1995 was attended by the governor of Illinois and the mayor of Chicago, as well as anybody was influential among the Chicago Political Elite.   Guess who the  first chairman of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge was?  You guessed.   Obama held the post until 1999.
• In 2004, Illinois State Senator Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm) decided to run for The United States Senate.  It is now very well-known that George Soros, evil genius, major Democratic Party donor and anti-Israel crusader, has been a generous contributor to Barack Obama. However, not too many people know that a loophole in McCain-Feingold allowed Soros and his family members to be extremely generous in their support of Obama’s 2004 Senatorial campaign.
• Besides garnering unlimited campaign funds, as the campaigns entered their closing rounds, the news ”happened to be” leaked to media outlets that both Hull and Ryan had “personal scandals” in their past. The timely release of this news wiped out both of their campaigns, leading to an easy victory for Obama in the primary and then in the general election.
• Barack Hussein Obama (Peace be upon him.) won the Senatorial election and went on to “serve” as a United States Senator from Illinois from 2005 – 2008.
• Obama sponsored 121 bills as a senator, of which 115 never made it out of committee and 3 were successfully enacted.   He co-sponsored 506 bills during the same time period.
• Barack Obama missed 314 (24%) of 1,300 roll call votes.  He did not have the option of voting “Present” as he did 130 times in the Illinois State Senate.

Additionally, in his first 100 days as president, Obama:

• Passed the Porkulous Bill
• Announced the closing of Guantanamo Gay (Heh.  Didn’t happen.)
• Dropped the Term ‘Enemy Combatant’ in favor of man-caused disaster
• Proposed first President Budget – $3.55 trillion
• Floated a National Health Insurance Plan
• Blasted US Food Safety and Took Action and appointed a brand new Food and Drug Administration (FDA) commissioner
• Began the End of the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Facility
• Took Over Coordination of Urban Policy issuing an executive order creating the White House Office of Urban Affairs.
• Reversed the “Mexico City” Anti-abortion Policy
• On his second day in office, Obama overturned the “Mexico City Policy” that prohibited the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) from contributing money to international family planning agencies that offered abortions or abortion counseling.
• Asked for More Money for Afghanistan and Iraq Wars
• Eased Some Restrictions on Cuba

And, later on, he burdened Americans with his most famous creation, Obamacare.

And, that, is why Americans have serious doubts about his authenticity.

Is he from Hawaii? Heck, most of the time, he acts like he’s from Mars.