Today, the President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm) held his first Press Conference in 309 days. After watching the dog and pony show, it actually seemed like some of the press were actually trying to portray themselves as journalists on television. The only one that truly succeeded was Fox New’s Major Garrett. Here are the main points to Scooter’s Guest Lecturing gig yesterday, summed up in a brief synopsis. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep. Everybody watching it almost did.
1. There since day one
Scooter said that his administration was “in charge” of the effort to stop the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, trying to combat popular opinion that his leadership has been less than sterling and his response was tepid, at best.
Obama made sure that the public knew who was The Man, saying his people ordered BP to drill two holes instead of the single one executives proposed.
Per Obama:
BP is operating at our direction. Every key decision and action they take must be approved by us in advance.
He was sure to make the point that if the Coast Guard commander orders BP to do something, “they are legally bound to do it.”
2. BP’s Fault
Obama insisted that BP will pay “every dime” for the damage it has done to the Gulf Coast:
BP is responsible for this horrific disaster and we will hold them fully accountable on behalf of the United States.
Excuse me, Mr. President (Lt. Columbo impression…Google him, kids.) If it’s BP’s fault, why did this occur, per Fox News?
Elizabeth Birnbaum, director of the embattled U.S. Minerals Management Service, was fired Thursday in the wake of reports of mismanagement in the agency responsible for oversight of oil companies like BP, which is trying to clean up a massive spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
When asked about this during the Presser, Obama claimed she resigned and he did not know the specifics. I thought you were in charge, Mr. President?
By the way, are you giving BP back all the money they gave you?
Obama further said that Interior Secretary Ken Salazar instituted changes in the agency after taking over, but the “culture had not fully changed” at Ms. Birnbaum’s former agency by the time of the spill. Uh huh.
Obama says he will continue to push lawmakers to work on a bipartisan approach to “comprehensive immigration reform (otherwise known as amnesty).
6. Don’t ask me about Sestak
Major Garrett of Fox News asked him in the very last question of the Press Conference about the alleged bribe of Democratic Senatorial Candidate (current Representative) Joe Sestak. It has been alleged that the White House offered Rep. Joe Sestak a job to drop out of the Democratic primary race against Sen. Arlen Specter.
Obama said:
There will be an official response shortly on the Sestak matter. I mean shortly — I don’t mean weeks or months. … I can assure the public that nothing improper took place.
White House Press Secretary Robert “Baghdad Bob” Gibbs has also said nothing improper happened, but would not make any additional statements, even though he was asked repeatedly about the charge at today’s scheduled Press Briefing.
I am not a crook.
7. Poor, Poor Pitiful Me
This notion that somehow the federal government is sitting on the sidelines and for the last three or four or five weeks we’ve just been letting BP make a whole bunch of decisions is simply not true.
My job right now is just to make sure that everybody in the Gulf understands this is what I wake up to in the morning and this is what I go to bed at night thinking about – the spill.
8. Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?
In an effort to garner empathy from Americans, Obama said that his daughter Malia stuck her head in the bathroom door and asked him that this morning.
He then spoke this tribute to the goddess Gaia:
I think everybody understands that, you know, when we are fouling the earth like this, it has concrete complications not just for this generation but for future generations.
I grew up in Hawaii, where the ocean is sacred. And when you see birds flying around with – with oil all over their feathers and turtles dying and – … that doesn’t just speak to the immediate economic consequences of this. This speaks to, you know, how are we caring for this incredible bounty that we have?
This Press Conference was a set-up. It was an excuse to give something back to his Liberal base. Obama announced that he was imposing an additional six-month moratorium on exploratory deepwater drilling, suspension of planned exploration of two locations off Alaska’s coast, and the cancellation of oil-lease sales in the Gulf of Mexico and off Virginia’s coast. That cha-ching sound you heard was Jerry Immelt, Al Gore, the Chicago Climate Exchange, and all those who will make obscene profits from the selling of “clean energy” counting their money already.
America’s economy is tanking. People are out of work. Obama claims there will be jobs in clean energy. There won’t be. The Politboro and his friends will control it. Obama seems to be piloting this ship of state directly into an iceberg.
Heckuva job there, Barry.
Sources: latimes.com, drudgereport.com, foxnews.com, politico.com, forbes.com
Kingsjester's Blog 
I, uhhhhhh, uhh my administration is…uhhh, working on an answer to that, aaaaaannnnd we’ll have it for you, uhh quickly. I can assure you, thaaaat, uhhh nothing illegal…..
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..just came over here and saw you put up a post about the press conference.
Rats!
I have a meeting to go to tonight. But, when I get home, I am going to uncork the Jack Daniels (out of Glennfiddich for the present) and pour myself three fingers — no, four — and sit back and devour this as one would a choice cut of prime rib or a truly fine steak.
Bless you and your works!
~T.W.P.
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Yep..just about what I thought after listening to his dribble for an hour…nothing to see here folks..please move on…why you ask???? Because I AM the President & I said so!!
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I can’t believe anyone still buys this twit’s garbage. He’s got a much bigger pair than I gave him credit for. LA has had to fend for itself (bless you Bobby) and Barry takes any credit and sloughs off any blame. Shameful doesn’t begin to describe this man.
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Staged, contrived, structured and controlled… What a joke that was. Even with the teleprompter the guy is sounding more moronic every day.
I don’t know about anyone else, but when he tries using his kids in an empathy ploy, I have a sudden urge to purge. How those reporters sat there and pretended they were at a genuine press conference is beyond me. I couldn’t do it.
(Julius Ceasar’s Press Sec = LOL!)
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..o.k., one visit ain’t gonna do it for me. I’ll probably have to come back. But I assure you, you have done a masterful job here cutting this man’s machinations to the quick.
The “operating at our direction” is a variation of the “boot heel on their neck” phrase he or one of his servile minions used some days ago and, if you think about it, it is a truly obscene remark for a president or member of an administration to use vis-a-vis a firm doing business in this country. Imagine how wonderful a business climate such an attitude makes.
Not knowing the status of a recent significant department head departure shows an executive who is possibly not in control. Admitting it to the public eliminates all speculation.
The guy is — plain and simple — an incompetent boob. His press conference (never use “presser”) evinces a magnitude of ineptness heretofore unimagined.
About the only thing he did correctly was to tell that old Fossil-ette Thomas to piss off. However, I do not believe she was Caeser’s press secretary. I believe the woman worked for Romulus or Remus..
..or one of the earlier pharaohs. FRumor has it she was sired from the union of a desperate slave and a camel.
Personally, that’s one woman I cannot wait to hear of beginning her dirt nap.
You have very accurately characterized the nature and reason for this sorry spectacle. I am ripping this off for my site — with glorious accolades and attribution, of course. This need tot be made viral.
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The WON…
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