Wherever I go, whoever I talk to, I’m getting asked the same question over and over again:

How did we end up with having to choose between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich as the Republican Nominee for President?

Well, the ever-so-exciting Tim Pawlenty dropped out.  So did the toast (according to his Democrat buddies) of last year’s annual Gridiron Dinner, Mitch Daniels.

Then, Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin headed for more sane and lucrative pastures as she withdrew to simply be a pundit for the next 5 years.

That left us with a cranky old isolationist (Ron Paul), a Conservative woman labelled Crazy Eyes by the Main Street Media (Michele Bachmann), a Pennsylvania Conservative (Rick Santorum), who is about as exciting as dry white toast, and a wealthy Mormon heir who worked for, and still speaks highly of, President Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm).

Now, what do Romney and Gingrich have to look forward to, in their quest to secure their party’s nomination?

Well, after they get through eviscerating each other down to their skivvies, the pack of piranhas known as the Main Street Media are going to give them both a thorough and quite public examination that their proctologists will be envious of.

We have no clue as to a lot of the details of the life of the present Leader of the Free World, but you can be darn sure that the American public will know how many zits Newt popped as a teenager and when the first time was that Mitt used Brylcreem on that luxurious hair of his.

And that’s just the above-board research.

Obama’s Hatchet Man, David Axlerod, is sure to get the nod to finish the job.  I would bet you (not $10,000, because I’m as broke as the rest of hard-working Americans in the Heartland, thanks to Obamanomics) that he’s been a busy little henchman already.

Sherman, start up the Wayback Machine:

In 2004, Illinois State Senator Barack Hussein Obama (mm mmm mmmm) decided to run for The United States Senate.

In order to have a successful Senatorial campaign, Scooter had to secure tremendous financial backing and be the recipient of astute political mentoring. No problem.

It is now very well-known that George Soros, evil genius, major Democratic Party donor and anti-Israel crusader, has been a generous contributor to Barack Obama. However, not too many people know that a loophole in McCain-Feingold allowed Soros and his family members to be extremely generous in their support of Obama’s 2004 Senatorial campaign.

Obama had to run against Blair Hull in the primary and then Jack Ryan in the general (both multi-millionaires). Obama received huge donations from individuals, to so-called “millionaires exception.” Usually, individuals are limited to giving $2300 to candidates in federal elections, but if the candidates are running against millionaires, these limits do not apply and candidates are allowed to receive up to $12,000 from a single individual. Soros and his family gave Barack Obama $60,000. This does not count the money that Soros was funneled to so-called 527 groups (Moveon.org, for example) that have also been politically active; nor does it include money that Soros raised from tapping a network of friends, business associates, and employees.

Besides garnering unlimited campaign funds, as the campaigns entered their closing rounds, the news ”happened to be” leaked to media outlets that both Hull and Ryan had “personal scandals” in their past. The timely release of this news wiped out both of their campaigns, leading to an easy victory for Obama in the primary and then in the general election.

The New York Times Magazine revealed that David Axelrod, Obama’s chief political and media adviser, may well have been behind the leak of the story that doomed the Hull candidacy as the primary reached its home stretch.

I’m shocked.

As he has shown over the years, Axelrod was right at home operating in this gray area, part idealist, part hired muscle. One can not bring up Axelrod’s name in certain circles in Chicago without the matter of the Blair Hull divorce papers coming up. Approaching the 2004 Senate primary, it was clear that it was a two-man race: the millionaire liberal, Hull, leading in the polls, and Obama, who was the figurehead of an impressive grass-roots campaign. One month before the vote, The Chicago Tribune “just happened” to reveal, at the end of a long profile of Hull, that during a divorce proceeding, Hull’s second wife filed for an order of protection. This revelation proceeded to erupt into a full-fledged scandal. This scandal destroyed Hull’s campaign and handed Obama an easy primary victory.

The Tribune reporter who wrote the story later admitted in print that the Obama camp had “worked aggressively behind the scenes” to push the story. However, a lot of folks in Chicago believe that Axelrod leaked the initial story. They will tell you that before signing on with Obama, Axelrod interviewed with Hull. They also point out that Obama’s TV ad campaign just happened to start at almost the same time. Axelrod swears up and down that “we had nothing to do with it” and that the campaign’s television ad schedule was in the works for a long time.

Axlerod’s explanation?

An aura grows up around you, and people assume everything emanates from you.

Translation:  Maybe I did it, maybe I didn’t.  [Wink, wink.  Nod, nod.  Knowing glance.]

Keep you eyes peeled, Americans.  We may be living a sequel.